A lot of man websites and tv shows like to tell men where they have to go before they die. A lot of women websites and tv shows like to tell men where to go after they die. The advice on this page falls somewhere in the middle. I'm talking about places that men would never think to go, but guys who travel there Love it. Our first stop is to Disney World's Epcot Center.

First off, in honor of full disclosure, I have to admit that I am a complete Disney World Fag. I Love it there. So I could spend a whole article telling you that you have to go and you will Love every minute of it, but I am also a realist and realize that this is not your sterotypical males idea of a perfect vacation. That is the exact reason why I am writing this. Most guys try to get to a Super Bowl or a Masters or the Playboy Mansion before they die, but lets face it, once you get married your options are kind of limited. You go where she and the kids want to go. It is the male exception not the rule that gets to go to the baseball fantasy camp (see Cosmo Kramer), but most guys have to go to the local petting zoo, the Christmas lights extravaganza, and eventually that parent/child nexus that is Disney World.

So lets face it. You're probably going to have to go at some point. Either the wife's nagging or the kids insanity will drive you there (and it will cost over $300.00 in gas). Ok, you're there. You're at the "resort" paying $85.00 for two club sandwiches, two kids meals and 4 cokes and you're thinking that you could have had great seats at the Steelers game for this shit and you need a drink. Not just one drink, but a lot of drinks. Here is where Epcot Center comes in. Epcot center was supposed to be a combination of the world of tomorrow meets a worlds fair. It ended up being some cool indoor rides and pavilions devoted to 11 different countries.

These pavilions are your key to drunken escape. They are extremely authentic in their architecture and the workers at each pavilion are authentic natives to that specific country. They can serve you all of the local foods and beverages from fish and chips to sushi, from German beer to the finest Italian wine. 11 countries within 200 yards walking distance and they all have alcohol.

My favorate alcoholic beverage is beer and there is lots of it at the world showcase. When my wife and I visit we "Drink around the World" several times on the trip. The 11 countries are:
Mexico
Norway
China
Germany
Italy
U.S.A.
Japan
Morocco
France
United Kingdom
Canada
From Dos Equis to Budweiser to Orion, to Labatts. You can go to every restaurant or just the street venders to pour you a pint. I must suggest the British booth girls pouring Smithwicks outside the British pavilion. They like to pour it up, flirt, and show their cliffs of dover (if you know what I mean).

You can't escape the magic of the park as well. The 11 pavilions surround a huge man made lagoon. The best time to visit the park is in the evening or at night when the weather has cooled and light shows are going off. Spaceship Earth (the big golfball) is lit up and it does seem magical.

The best time to go is in November when not only do you have the 11 pavilions to drink at, but it is also the wine and food festival at Epcot. Don't let the wine part fool you. Venders setup authentic stations between pavilions offering beer from other countries including Poland, Ireland, Israel, and many more. Might I suggest some Polish beer. It is awsome.

As I mentioned before you can eat authentic food at these pavilions too (there is a McDonalds just outside the American Experience). The food really is up to par with the beer. You will not be disappointed with the content in the pavilions as well (as you are so frequently by the content on this website). Mexico and Norway have rides, China has live performers, Canada has a great movie, Italy has moving statues, America has a great animatronics show, Japan has efficient urinals, the list goes on and the architecture is so authentic it is hard to describe.

I am lucky because my wife not only lets me do what i want when i'm at epcot she joins me and loves drinking around the world a little too much. God forbid this changes when we have kids, but for now she lets me get away with it. If you have a wife who is also sympathetic to your needs but is making you go to the happiest place on Earth please heed my advise. Take a few hours and explore the world showcase on your own. Drink around the world on me and be happy that you can now die like a man.

Nice write-up, Doug, but you stay up entirely too late.

Pryor's do not require sleep, only caffeine and cheese

Yeah, it's one extreme or another. I'm either drunkenly falling asleep at the bar/on your couch at 11:30 or staying up until 3 a.m.